Saturday, May 8, 2010

It Really Is Amazing

It really is amazing how much of a difference just getting up and taking some time for yourself is. Since I started this journey, I've felt better about myself. It's showing. I wake up, I put on makeup, I take care of myself. And it's making me feel good. And it's showing in my marriage. Things between Matthew and I..well...they've heated up. I feel myself feeling like my old self. I love it!
Monday is the start of my transformation. I'm going to start myself on a schedule. Once Matthew gets his schedule, I can start looking for a part time job. I have things in mind that are just going to make things even better.
I'm so happy that I've decided to make this change, to embrace a side of me that I've been fighting. I have plans, I have ideas, I have things I want to get to put these plans and ideas into motion.
I've been fighting what I thought was bad. Being a stay at home mom has always scared the hell out of me, because I viewed stay at home moms as frumpy, pathetic women. I've realized that I was wrong. There is so much I can do for my family. I'm not going to be oppressed by my husband. I'm not going to lose my edge, nor will I lose my freedom. But I can give my family so much by being a stay at home mom. I can assure they come home to a clean house. I can assure they come home to having a good healthy dinner. I can assure that they'll have all their needs and wants met. But I don't have to lose myself in doing so and I think that is what scared me more than anything. I didn't want to lose Sarah. Now, I realize, I don't have to conform. I realize that, being a stay at home mom isn't a compromise on myself. I don't have to be like everyone else.
So here's to things only getting better....

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So....what did you think? And are you THAT Sarah Michelle?