Sunday, May 16, 2010

Random Thoughts of A Parent

Today, we had to take our 8 month old daughter to the hospital. She started running a fever last night and it didn't go away this morning, plus she started vomiting. We took her in, they took her temp under her arm. We get into the room and I just hold her, while she snuggles up to me. She didn't want to lay down, she didn't want to be held by anyone else...she just wanted me.
They wanted to get an accurate reading, so they took her temp in her butt, then gave her a suppository. After that, she just snuggled into my arms and fell asleep.
It was painful, sitting on that very uncomfortable hospital bed, with nothing to support my back, holding my 18lbs worth of sick child. She had squirmed her way down to where her head was resting on my arm....after about 30 minutes, I could no longer feel my fingers.
I didn't dare move a muscle.
In that moment, I realized just what being a parent really was about. It's more than discipline. It's more than rewards. It's about doing anything in your power to make sure your child is comfortable. It's the longing, the urge, to take away everything wrong with your child away, so that they don't have to feel it. I'd have given anything in this world to take her temp away, to take the defeated look from her eyes. My usually perky, bubbly little girl has been temporarily replaced with this child that is fighting so hard to get back to healthy.
That was just a random thought I'd had.
I watch her now, sitting in her swing, looking around, trying to figure out why she feels as she does. I can sense her in the longing to get in her walker and go see what her bubby and sissy are doing. I can sense in her the want to explore. I can look at her and know that she feels trapped by this current bout of illness. I watch her rub her eyes and contemplate another nap. She's close to giving in.
I look at her and I think to myself "I want my Buggy Butts".
And I think...if I'm this.....contemplative over a little stomach virus, I'm sure I'd be catatonic if something more serious were to ever happen to her, or any of my other children.
A small, nagging motherly instinct is full expecting to see a tooth or 2 by this weekend....that small, nagging motherly instinct is telling me that's all this is....
Anyways....that's my random thought for the day.

No comments:

Post a Comment

So....what did you think? And are you THAT Sarah Michelle?