Saturday, July 16, 2011

Pictures and Memories And Random Thoughts

So, I was sitting here, looking through old pictures of the kids, when tears sprang to my eyes. In 1 week and 2 days, Sebastian and Anastasia will be 7. 7 years old.......wow. In 1 month, 1 week and 3 days, Cailin will be 2. *smh*

My kids are growing up way too fast. In a blink of an eye, I went from having twin babies to having 2nd graders. In a blink of an eye, I went from having a baby to having a toddler. It's nuts and it's way too soon. I'm not ready for this, having my kids grow up. Sebastian is all boy and wants to be just like his Daddy. Anastasia is all girl and claims to be in love with Justin Bieber. Cailin is learning new things daily and she's getting really independent. She needs me to help her with some things, change her diaper and make her food and drinks. But other than that, she pretty much has everything figured out. She's always trying to talk and she loves to dance.....

I want so much good for my kids. I want them to be active in school, in sports, in our community. I want them to look back at their childhood and have nothing but fond memories. I want them to remember having a house, a room they love. I want them to remember family vacations and things like that......

I hate not knowing what I want to be when I grow up. I find myself torn between something in the medical field and something in the education field. I want to do something I know I'll love and something I know I'll be good at. I just don't know what that is. I know that I LOVED working as an administrative assistant when I worked at Precision Shutters. I LOVED that kind of work. I don't know how to parlay being a receptionist into a career though.

I know what house I want. I know I want about a half acre to an acre of land. I know I want a pool and a 2 car garage. I know I want a fireplace, a laundry room. I know what I want, I just don't know how to get it.

Sometimes, I feel really lost, like I'm just floating around, waiting for something to happen.

I need to make some major decisions, but I'm terrified to make them because I keep second guessing myself. I just know that I don't want to live in this apartment for the rest of my life and I don't want to be unemployed and barely making it for the rest of my life.

Anyways, I just had somethings I needed to get off my mind.......not that it really helped....but I just wanted to blog.

1 comment:

  1. They grow up fast, don't they? I think second guessing ourselves is natural. :) Good luck.

    ReplyDelete

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