Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Depression Hurts......

I suffer from depression. This isn't something that I'm proud of and it's something hard to admit. I don't take any medication for it, but I CAN tell you, it literally hurts.
My whole body hurts so bad. My arms, my legs, my shoulders. All over....not exactly fun times if you ask me. But I suffer through it and I don't really focus on it.
We are going through a lot of stuff in my family right now. Tests that I'm not sure I'll pass, trials I'm not sure I'll win. It's hard to see through the fog of depression to see the positive, but I really am trying.
I had a pity party for myself today and I tried to figure out how someone is a pretty good person (at least I think I am) has been handed such a bad card. I tried to figure out how it is that these people that are causing the grief can sleep at night.
After I had my pity party and cried for a bit, I grabbed my boot straps and pulled myself up. I dug down deep to find determination. I'm still digging, I think I'm getting there.
The problem with depression is that it really does make you lose an interest in doing things you love. For example, in the last few weeks that my depression has flared up, working on this blog has just been a challenge. I LOVE this blog, but finding the will to do it hasn't been easy. I guess that's why I signed up for the A-to-Z challenge, so that I'd work on it more. It's helping, but today, honestly, I just didn't want to do it.
How do you cope with the blues? Do you suffer from depression?

3 comments:

  1. I suffer from depression also & have since I can remember, I'm 25. I was on medication for it, Celexa & Abilify but stopped taking it & it seems to actually have been better recently, which I'm thankful for:) The medication was making me shake seizure-like in my sleep, it was weird, then I started seeing all the ads about Celexa causing heart problems & defects in babies...I just decided I didn't want it anymore.
    When I get the blues I usually cry & that makes me feel better than holding it in...hope you feel better soon, I'm sure you're a great person, we just can't help the cards we're dealt sometimes...Everything will work out for ya hun, just keep your chin up:)

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  2. i am so sorry you are going through such a bad time in your life--i have had times of depression in my life--i don't know if you believe in prayer, but i would like to pray for you---you have great honesty in your writing--keep it up <3

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  3. I've lived with depression and panic disorder as far back as my teens. (that's 40+ years). Last November my diagnosis was changed to Bi-Polar Disorder (Manic Depression. I know what a battle it can be.

    I have a lengthy post on my blog which includes a version of my story that I shared in my church on a Sunday morning last November.

    As I said, it's lengthy, but you may find it of interest to you.

    http://horst-peters.blogspot.ca/2011/11/im-back.html

    Hang in there. You are not alone.

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