Thursday, April 5, 2012

Expectations

I have struggled to try to figure out what I'd write about for the letter E. A lot of people suggested Easter, because that's the holiday coming up, but I didn't really want to get into that, because then I'd probably have to go into the religious aspect of it, which isn't something I want to do.
This morning, it came to me...I should write about expectations.
So many people have high expectations of themselves, their children, their partner. I know that I, personally, am notorious for placing high expectations on myself. For example, I've struggled with weight loss and, as a teen and in my early 20's, I'd set goals for myself that, looking back NOW, are just too high. I'd expect to lose, like, 100lbs in 6 months. Yes, I know this is doable, but it's also not healthy. NOW, my expectation is to lose 10 pounds a month, which is doable and healthy.
As a child, I was the one who was suppose to be the game changer for my family. I was suppose to go on to college and be the first one in my family to really make something for myself. Instead of meeting that expectation, I dropped out my senior year, after getting married. We divorced a year and a half later, with no children. Then, I had the expectation of not becoming a single mom. Instead of meeting that, I got pregnant by my ex boyfriend, resulting in Sebastian and Anastasia, my twins.
After their biological father left and I was raising them on my own, I enrolled in college full time, was working full time and I had the expectation to finish college, work and raise my kids. It just got to be too much after awhile and I dropped out of college. Then I tried ONLINE college and didn't finish that either.
After a few years, I decided to move from FL to KY and I enrolled in college once again, with the expectation to finish. I would have, but because I'd dropped out of college the first time, I have a fee with them that I need to pay to get my transcripts released, so I was only able to go one semester.
Once I became a wife again and we had our youngest, I had the expectations to be a stay at home mom and housewife, something I'd never been before. It has taken me a few years to meet that expectation and I'm still not sure if I'm doing it that well.
As a mother, I place expectations on my children, but I try really hard to not make them too high. I expect them to listen, behave, keep their grades up, keep their room clean, do their chores and, if help is needed, ask. I expect them to be polite, good siblings, and productive members of society. Every Christmas, we give them money and take them shopping and turn around and donate the toys and/or clothes they just bought to different toy drops. We teach them to be grateful for what they have, as they have more than a lot of kids do and we don't want them to take that for granted.
I probably SHOULD, but I don't EXPECT my kids to go to college. I WANT them to and I'm going to stress the importance of a formal education and having a career, but in the end, it's up to them. I don't EXPECT them to wait until after they've established a career to get married and have children. I WANT them to do it this way, to make sure they are financially secure so they can give their kids a better life than I gave them.
What are some expectations that you have, for either yourself or your children?

3 comments:

  1. i don't know that i have too many expectations for my kids--my grown sons are happy with families of their own and i guess that is all i really want for my daughter--to be content and happy

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  2. My two daughters and one son are grown now and well on their way to lives of their own. Two are still trying to get through college, one is in the middle of family life. I set no expectations for them, because every expectation I had for them was never met. So I expect nothing and when I get something, I am pleasantly surprised, otherwise I might be terribly disappointed. Good post! Hope your kids make good lives for themselves.

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  3. It's good to have some expectations, but also to be free to change when life doesn't turn out the way you want.
    I don't have kids so I guess I don't have any expectations of them, except maybe that they'll come some day.
    Thanks for posting.

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