Monday, June 4, 2012

Real and From The Heart

June 10 will make 6 months until my 30th birthday. I feel like I've failed myself. You see, when I turned 29, I swore to myself that I'd bust my hump and get to my goal weight before my 30th birthday. I had this whole thing planned out, where I'd do this reveal at my birthday party, where I'd basically go in to hiding for a year and only let certain people see me as I lost the weight.
Here it is, June 4 and I've not only NOT lost the weight, but I've GAINED weight. I'm not sure how or why, but I have. And I'm utterly sickened and disgusted by it.
So now I find myself at a crossroads in my life. Do I want to stay this weight and be this weight when I turn 30 or do I want to change it and at least have a sense of accomplishment when I turn 30.
Changing it sounds awesome.
Right now, I weigh 296 lbs. My GOAL weight is between 150 and 175. That's where I feel like I'd be most comfortable with myself. There's where I feel like I'd love myself and really be me.
We'll split the different, just for arguments sake, and say that I need to lose 133.5 pounds to reach my goal. That's 162.5. I know there's just no way I can do that in 6 months. No way in heck! I might be able to lose half that, 66.25 pounds. I might even be able to lose 3/4 that. Either weight, if I can weight 230-200 pounds by the time I turn 30, I will be THRILLED.
It's going to take hard work and every ounce of willpower that I have. I've decided that I DO, in fact, want to join the gym. And I want to work out 5 days a week for at least 2 hours a day. Saturdays, I want to take the kids to the park and go for a walk while they play. Some how, some way, I've GOT to get exercise into my daily schedule. I HAVE to. And I HAVE to cut my internet usage back, because sitting on my big butt in front of the computer most of the day isn't going to help. Now, get me a treadmill with a tray on it so that I can put my laptop on it, and we could be in business.
So here goes....I've got a few things cooked up to get this started, but I AM going to do this, if it kills me.
My goal, right now, is to lose 10 pounds a month. That's roughly 2.5 pounds a week. If I do that, I'll be down to 236 for my 30th birthday. I think this is very reasonable and something that I can do.
But enough screwing around. My life, my healthy, my mental well being is at stake here. I just simply can't let myself go on living life like this. I can't and I won't, plain and simple.

1 comment:

  1. Your post is like you read my mind and typed it down!! I'm in the exact same boat!! I have the same goal as you in the same time frame! The big 3-0 is Dec 2nd for me. You can reach your goal!!


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