Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Murphy's Law in Motherhood.

I am a firm believer that Karma exists. I also believe that there is some sick affiliation between Murphy's law and motherhood. You run around like a crazed  maniac packing the diaper bag like you were preparing for a nuclear bomb to hit, making sure you add in every little thing you need or could possibly need. While doing this you decide that one item you always pack but never need id worthless and you toss it aside.  You get to your destination and the one teeny thing you forgot to pack OR that one thing you have always packed that you've never needed, you will need. It's destined in the stars. Mother's everywhere automatically raise their fists in the air, curse Murphy, then get crapped on by some random bird who's aim and timing is impeccable. Wait. That's me. And the bird poo thing only on picture days. Haha!!
You all think i'm crazy or joking. I am dead frigging serious! This is nothing you can conduct in an experiment either. It would be too controlled to do so. But I have so much proof that i'm willing to share the hardcore facts with ya. Now listen up, and be warned- this is quite truthful and may cause you to laugh at me. Considering this happens to moms everywhere, if you think this is about you then it probably is. Nah i'm just kidding. But i'm sure this has happened to many of you a time or two. (or in my case fifty times a day. Which is really good for my anxiety by the way haha!)
Ok here ya go, the evidence:
* Doorbell or phone rings and you are doing one or more of the following:
Taking a dump, stark frigging naked, laying the kids down for a nap or mid chew of the half burrito you thought was just one big bite because you had to do soemthing else involving the kids or the dog with the other hand so you just stuffed in your mouth (that you rarely do but deciided to anyways when Murphy's Law said STOP THAT! And rained on your parade.) IF you were eating that burrito and the doorbell rang it is the law of Murphy that states that you will have unknowingly spilled sour cream all over the front of your shirt OR in your hair that looks like your male partner's bodily fluids.
*You usually restock the bathroom with TP constantly, just because. But the ONE time you forget- you have to waddle to the hall closet with your pants down your ankles. If Murphy's Law really hates you- you have to walk past your window in which your curtains just so happen to be open and the neighbor's you have that normally sleep in til noon are in their yard staring at you. Don't forget to wave, it makes it less awkward ;) If you're me, you are pretty darn lucky to be 5'1 so it makes it even better to know that they have no idea you're naked and covered in feces from the hips down. Just smile and wave. They'll suspect nothing.
*Regarding the phone, I forgot to mention that while doing activities away from the phone you keep the phone next to you and it never rings. But the very moment you forget that phone in the bathroom it will ring it's little black self to death- and you will never remember where you left it or find it until it is dying, you are on the toilet and it rings again. This time it is usually the school or pediatrician. Nice.
There are many many more but i'm sure you get the idea. I'm pretty sure whoever this Murphy guy was that the law was named after was a pretty hated guy...that or he was emo. I could use some good laughs..share yours with us! Slap it on our facebook wall OR stick a comment below!!! Mwuahs!!!                 
                 ♥ Jen♥

1 comment:

  1. Hahahaha.... This is probably my favorite post you have written, Jen! Love it!

    ~ Sarah


So....what did you think? And are you THAT Sarah Michelle?