Friday, October 5, 2012

Life: The Real Survival Of The Fittest

I was raised by a single mother (shout out to my mama, Linda! Love her!). We received help from the state, but my mom also went back to school when I was in 4th grade (I think) to become a Medical Assistant. However, once she was done with her education and she graduated, getting a job wasn't as easy as everyone thought it was.
We struggled and I remember a lot of it. I was always my mom's "right hand man", so to speak, whether it was intended or self imposed, I don't remember. She tried to shield us from the truth, but maybe my perception was better than she anticipated or maybe I was just too nosy. 
One thing I always remember her saying, though, was we will get through it.
As an adult and a mother myself (though not a single mom), I often find that I handle situations about the same as she does. We both have our freak outs, we both cry, scream, and get mad. Then we calm down and look for a solution to the problem. In that way (as well as many others), I am my mother's daughter.
When what went down on Tuesday happened, I freaked out and I called my mom and cried. I called her because she is sometimes my voice of reason when I need it. She told me that I would figure it out, because, like her, I was a survivor. I was a mother, it's what we do. We survive.
Today, I was watching Grey's Anatomy and those words struck me again, but in another sense. Christina Yang was listening to a voice mail that Meredith Grey had left her. And it struck me that what she said is similar to my own outlook on life. It said "This is a place where horrible things happen. You were right to go. You're probably escaping disaster. Look at me. I practically grew up here, and you're right, it's hurt me in ways I'll probably never get over. I have a lot of memories of people. People I've lost forever. But I have a lot of other memories too. This is the place where I fell in love. The place where I found my family. This is where I learned to be a doctor. Where I learned how to take responsibility for someone else's life. And it's the place where I met you. So I figure this place has given me as much as it's taken away from me. I've lived here as much as I've survived here. It just depends on how I look at it. I'm gonna choose to look at it that way, and remember you that way. Hope you're good. Bye."[quote provide by THIS site].
In my 29 years on this planet, I've endured a lot of horrible things. Loss of loved ones, abuse in many forms (by people other than my parents....they were great), struggles that I thought would break me. But I've also endured so many beautiful things. The birth of my children. The feeling of being loved by someone who isn't obligated to do so. Memories of people who were truly amazing people. I can either look at my past and think " was terrible and it's not going to get better" or I can take a line from Meredith and look at as she did....I've lived this life as much as I've survived it. This life has given me as much as it has taken from me. What I chose to do with it is up to me and me alone. I can either become a victim of it or a survivor of it.
I chose the latter.
We all struggle in life. It's never the same, but we all do it. It's how we chose to let it affect us that determines the outcome of our lives and shows us our true strength. I know people who let their past dictate their future far too much. They don't learn from what happened, they don't move on. They use it as a reason to let their present and future be bad, or they tell their past to suck it and they improve their present and future. That's what I chose to do. I chose to not be victimized by my past.
Darwin had a good idea with his evolutionary theory about natural selection. But it doesn't apply just in the applies in life.
After is the real jungle....


  1. You've given a lot of careful thought to this subject and come up with a great post about strength and resolve.

    1. Thanks Karen. I think I probably started and restarted writing it several times.....I even called my mom and read it to her.

  2. I had to read it for myself .... you are truly gifted with your words, I always puddle up when ever I read something that you have written ....great job....

    1. Ladies and mama!
      No puddles allowed. Love her!

  3. And as Meredith always says to Christina, YOU ARE MY PERSON! You're right. We survive. It is how I got through my husband's discrepancies, how I got through a painful childhood, and how I got through high school. One piece of advice form my mamma: Live to spite the world. Live just to piss 'em off!



So....what did you think? And are you THAT Sarah Michelle?