Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Ladies and gentlemen......

I am back in the game! It's crazy how you take such little things for granted. On my lazy days, I admit. The kids and I lounge around and watch tv and snack all day. And I'll be on my farm harvesting my crops as soon as they pop up. I do not take for granted those days- cause those are some great days. Your kids are only small for so long. What you do take for granted is being able to grasp the mouse or even sit in the computer chair to harvest those crops. Cubing blocks of cheese to be popped into those tiny mouths wanting a snack. Getting out of bed without pain and weakness. I've dealt with so much over the past several days. Head to toe. I was miserable. I still am pretty crappy. I have no hormone patch, no caffeine (although I just caved and made an 8 cup pot of coffee), no junk food and no effective pain medicine. I know I can call my Dr and ask for medicine. But asking for pain medicine makes me feel weak and makes me feel like a druggie. I know I'm miserable, and I'm in pain. But my body also needs rest. Pain meds numb your body, in return you clean house, bathe and brush the dogs, play mechanical bull with the kids, pop in P90X....all the things you don't need to be doing when you really need to be resting until you are feeling better. That and I'll have more medicine soon, so. But I'm just sick of pills. I take about 9-15 pills a day. Sometimes more if needed. When I get my new rx filled I'll be adding those pills into my daily counter. These pills are all legally prescribed to me I should say. (With exception of vitamins which I MUST take and dr recommended I take but are not a RX itself and are OTC meds.)

What is wrong with me?!?!? I have NO idea. I am suspecting Lupus, as did my Dr. Until my ANA came back negative- yet again. I had tested positive once before- but that was once and never since. However, since then, I have had the butterfly rash on my face, my body aches and hurts, I'm weak where I can barely lift my hands and walk. My spine, neck, legs, arms, hands, shoulders, head, wrists,  hips and back all hurt. My body is so stiff. My bones hurt. My muscles hurt. I just want to give up sometimes. I know there are sicker people out there who are much stronger than myself- but not having answers and receiving the medicines that help are agonizing. Tramadol (in all fairness this is combined with extra strength tylenol and mobic) is my savior since the Mobic alone has failed me. I'm hoping the Voltaren will help better than the Mobic but I'm having my doubts. Sigh. 

On top of this, Buddy is back in the animal hospital and has been for 4 days now. He went in  Saturday morning because he was having trouble breathing. He was limping due to a bad leg (again). The vet said his Blasto had relapsed. This is our last chance with Blasto- if he does not get better, or gets sick again- we will be saying our goodbyes to him :( The kids are well as is my husband. I will be voting today! As I suggest you all to do the same. I don't care who you vote for- vote for someone. And remember-for those of you who feel they have to vote between the shiniest of two turds- vote for the third party. Vote for someone!!!!!!!!!! (Links below)

Lupus  

                                                                                Much Love,
                                                                                      ♥ Jen ♥                                                          

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