|I'm in front|
This is me when I was 14. Gosh, how young I look! No tattoos on my wrists, no scars from cutting.....
Life was so innocent back then. I was in love with a boy that stole my heart and was simply amazing and he never even knew it....mostly because he was famous and lived in Oklahoma, but, damn it, his heart should have felt some tug to Florida, right?
Well, I think so....
I was staring down starting high school.....I wasn't looking forward to that at all. Most of my friends, though, were going to the same school, so that helped out. It was what it was, though...high school...bottom of the barrel as a Freshman. Eff that!
My hopes back then were to be a big singer, selling out to stadiums left and right, touring with Hanson, being awesome and having an impact on the youth of America. Back then, I didn't realize that music was becoming more about appearance and less about whether or not you can actually sing. I was determined...I'd sit in my bedroom with my little boom box, a pair of head phone ('cause I didn't own a mic) and a blank tape in the cassette player, recording songs I'd written myself onto tape to send out.
Oh yea, I was dreaming big.
High school rolled around and it became an experience that I try to block out daily. High schoolers were even more cruel than middle schoolers. I had batteries thrown at me, I was picked on relentlessly. My chorus teacher wasn't as nice or as cool as the one I had in middle school, and the boys only talked to me because I was smart and willing to do their homework.
In February, halfway through my Freshman year, my Grandpa Fields passed away and we ended up moving to Kentucky from Florida and lived in his house. I started school with some old friends and met some new ones (like Patty, our Crafty mama!). School was a little easier to handle, I had friends and boys actually talked to me because they wanted to be my friend (some weird boys wanted to date me, but I was still holding out hope that Taylor Hanson would sweep me off my feet). I still wanted to be a singer, but I also wanted to go to college for something (I think psychology) and I wanted to write.
|Taylor and his wife Natalie|
It was a much simpler time, back then. And boy, how things have changed. Taylor never did get around to sweeping me off my feet and I finally came to the realization that he was unattainable, that he'd never date a fan, 'cause he was bigger than that, only to find out that yes, he WOULD, in fact, date a fan and would go on to prove he likes sex...A LOT (they have 5 kids!). He still makes music with his brothers and I'm still a fan. I saw them in 2008 and actually got to meet them and shake their hands and get autographs. (there is a funny story in there....they did this thing called "the walk" before their show. Patty and I were walking with them and was having a very intense conversation about baseball. I wasn't paying attention and walked right into a parking meter...with the band right behind me.)
I'm married now and very happily so. I have 3 kids of my own and I strive daily to impress upon them what it's like to be in school. I try to get them to make sure they are polite to everyone, that they aren't mean for no reason (or any reason really). I encourage them to try things I wouldn't and to dream big!
My life didn't turn out how I'd planned when I was 14 or 15 years old. But I wouldn't trade the life I have right now for anything in this world.
|My husband and I (take THAT Taylor Hanson!)|