Friday, February 1, 2013

I've Got A Secret!

Welcome to Take One of February’s Secret Subject Swap. This week, 15 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 



Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

www.BakingInATornado.com                         
http://dinoheromommy.com/                      
http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/             
http://www.quirkychrissy.com                         
http://www.momaical.com                          
http://lifeonthesonnyside.blogspot.com/             
http://www.chewylicious.com                            
http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/               
www.amotherlife.com                                


My subject is If you have children, is there a point in which you felt you made a mistake? If so, what is it and what would you have done to change it? If you don't have children, do you think your parents made a mistake? How would you fix it?  It was submitted by http://www.100lbCountdown.com  Here goes.....and bear with me....due to an accidental meeting between my laptop and a cup of soda, half of my keyboard doesn't work & I'm alternating between the keyboard & the onscreen one.

This is gonna be a hard post to write, because I HAVE been there before. And it was not fun.

Before I got married, I was a single mother of twins. I had been since they were 5 months old. It was hard, I wasn't getting child support, and I was working as best as I could, while paying for day care. I was barely making ends meet.

Okay, I WASN'T making ends meet.

I had a hard time figuring things out and at one point, I considered giving them to their paternal grandparents. I LOVE MY KIDS....more than life itself. But I felt like I wasn't doing them justice.  We were struggling........I was struggling.....and they were suffering. They, of course, was none the wiser. They were only 2ish at the time. ME, though....I knew. I knew that I wasn't giving them the absolute best life I could.

BUT I DIDN'T GIVE UP!

Not even when I lost my job. I thought long and hard and decided to move. I'd gotten laid off in September and survived on unemployment until November, when I started working part time at Sam's Club. It wasn't as much as I was making, but I was living with my mom and didn't have a ton of bills. I worked around everyone's schedule  to avoid daycare, so I saved money that way, plus Anastasia was potty trained, so I didn't have to buy as much diapers.

In January , my dad got a severance package from the company he was working for that closed and he offered to fly the kids and I to KY. As much as I hated leaving my mom, I knew it would give me a chance to give the kids a better life. So I agreed and on January 10, we boarded a plane and flew to Dayton, OH. I got a job and by April, we were in our own apartment. In August, I met Matthew and we married in September.......the rest is history!

I am thankful I didn't give them to their paternal grandparents.....I think I've managed to pull us up and give them a great life. And rather than look at that time and regret it, I look at it as a test I overcame. Because of that time, I realized my strength, my will to fight back.

30 comments:

  1. I hope you're proud of your strength and bravery. I love that I've gotten to "know" you, and that I always learn more about you from these Swaps.

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    1. Thank you. These swaps challenge me to post about things I normally wouldn't, so it's totally a growing experience for me as well!

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  2. Your kids are lucky to have such a strong momma. xo

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  3. It's hard enough to fall on your face when it's just you to take care of - I can't imagine trying to keep my head afloat to make sure my kids are ok. You weren't wrong trying to figure out what was ultimately best for your kids - that's actually what a GREAT mom does! Which is clearly what you are.
    Tracy @ Momaical

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    2. I'm happy I didn't do anything I would have regretting....they were better of with me. I worked really hard to make sure that they didn't know what was going on! Thanks...I try to be a great mom...

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  4. I applaud you, motherhood is rough as it is, but when you have to do it all alone. Your kids have a true model in you babe.

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    1. It is rough, but if not for the love and support of my family, I'm not sure I would have made it. I try to be a good role model. Thanks!

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  5. You are strong! You are Brave! Yay for never giving up and coming out on top. Kids are a blessing and you fighting for that is awesome!

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    1. Thanks! They are a blessing and I'd be lost without them. All I've known for the past almost 9 years is being a mom. I love it!

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  6. Being a mom is difficult on its own. Raising kids by yourself is even harder. You should be so proud of all that you have accomplished. Your children are very lucky to have such a strong mom. What a wonderful example of strength.

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    1. Thank you....I am proud of what I overcame and I can look back at it with no regrets, because it made me who I am today.

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  7. Being a mother is the hardest job in the world. Being a single mother, as I can only imagine and am about to embark on, has to be downright terrifying. You are an amazing mother. Do not ever forget that.

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    1. Thank you. It IS terrifying, but honestly, sometimes, it for the best. I'm not sure what I would do if my husband and I were to divorce, but I know I could make it. You got this, mama!

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  8. As someone who was raised by a single mom who struggled to make ends meet, I can certainly relate to the struggles of your situation, and what a heart-wrenching decision it must have felt like. As long as you continue to listen to your heart, you'll always do what's best for your family. A beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it!

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    1. Thank you. I, too, was raised by a single mother and I never wanted to have that title myself, but things happen, especially when you have kids young (we were 21)....add TWINS to the mix and it's enough to make anyone run. It was hard to even consider giving them to his parents, but I'm so, so happy I didn't.

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  9. What a beautiful story of strength and perseverance.
    I am sorry that you had such struggles but it's just amazing how those hard times turn into blessings in disguise.
    Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Thanks! Isn't it though? As my mother would say, I fell into a pile of poo and came out smelling like roses. I'm not saying everything is all rainbows and unicorns now, but they are 10 times better, hands down!

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  10. What an inspiring story. It's amazing what can be achieved by sheer perseverance. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad to have found you through the Secret Subject Swap and Karen :)

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    1. Thanks! I'm applying overcoming that to my weight loss journey.....if I can overcome those struggles, I know I can lose this weight.

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  11. You are one hell of a strong lady and I commend you for doing what a LOT of women could not. As your children grow up, they will love you all the more for it. Beautifully written---you did a fantastic job with your prompt.

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    1. Thank you so much. One thing I do with my children is make sure they always stay humble. I think that's important. Sure, they have a nice life, but it could slip away in a snap, so I want them to not take things for granted, ya know?

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  12. That's such a wonderful story!! I'm just in awe at your mental strength!!

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    1. Thank you. I had moments of weakness, moments where my will was tested.....but I didn't give in to the urges to end it all.....and I even stopped cutting, which is one of the better things that came from it all.

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  13. That's really fantastic. I love it when there are happy endings in real life!

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    1. Me too! There aren't enough happy endings, in my opinion.

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  14. You have amazing strength and fortitude! I love the way you finished it off - saying that you look at it as a test you overcame instead of looking back with regret. Great job!!! I look forward to reading more!

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  15. That's a beautiful story that you've shared with us. I don't know if I would've had the strength! I truly admire your courage and strength to continue to strive to make it a better place for your kids. That's what amazing mothers are made of and mothers that children will remember forever because of what their mothers have done for them. Beautiful hun and thanks for having the courage to share it with us <3

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  16. I agree with all the sentiments expressed above and then some! I think about giving up my kids because they are teenagers and well...teenagers. My husband and I have struggled financially but we've always had each other. I would have crawled under the bed in the fetal position if I had been a single mom. You'd like to think you'd have the courage to get through anything, but you don't really know until you know...ya know? lol My hats off to you, you are one amazing mama :-)

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So....what did you think? And are you THAT Sarah Michelle?