I've been on a mission to lose weight.
I'd lost about 18 pounds and was really proud of myself. I came so close to getting out of the 290s. So very, very close.
Then I fell off the wagon.
This happens to me. A lot. Because I get in my own way and I am my own worst enemy. I take things to heart, so if I have a bad day, that turns into a bad week, a bad month. I got lazy, I stopped watching what I ate, I just didn't want to do anything, because, in my mind, I'd already failed.
The only thing I've done that was successful is not drink soda. That's it. I've not had soda since January. I don't plan to have it again, even though I've been craving a glass of ice cold Coke. But I know one turns into a 12 pack. Forget that noise.
I know that I can do this and get this weight off me. I just need to get it in my head that it's okay that I have a bad day. It's not going to be perfection. It can't be. I also need to get it out of my head that this is going to be an immediate thing. It's not. It's easier to put the weight on, but it's a lot harder and a lot more work to get it off. I just need to apply myself and make sure I do that work.
I'm trying to go back to school this August. I've put more work, in the past few days, into finding out information about that than I have actually trying to lose weight. I need to channel that passion into my weight loss. So, I'm going to set a mini goal for myself. Classes begin on August 19. My goal is to add 20lbs to that 18 I've lost and be at 38 pounds lost. I need to prove to myself that I CAN accomplish this. I CAN do this. I'm looking at taking on a bigger goal, finishing college. If I can't do something like do what needs to be done to get healthy, then how can I finish college? That's my mind set anyways.
I know one day, I'll be healthy. Right now, though, I am finding myself battling with my demons and that's not a good thing. I just have to get it out of my head that I am going to fail at this and start telling myself that I will succeed. I CAN do this, I HAVE TO.
Now if I can just apply those words to reality, I'll be set.