Friday, August 9, 2013

It's Time For You To Come on Down.........




I absolutely LOVE doing the Secret Subject Swap! If you don't know what it is, then you are missing out! This is the handy work of the amazing Karen from Baking In A Tornado. Basically, what happens is a group of bloggers (12 of us!) get together, swap subjects and write about said subject.

This time around, my prompt came from Stacey over at Stacey Sews and Schools. She wants to know: "If you could be on any game show, what would it be and how would you do?" Thanks for the prompt, lady! Hey, when you get done here, make sure you give her a visit, would ya?

*ring, ring*
"Hello! I'm looking for Sarah. You've been selected to be on the show "Mommy's Losing Her Mind!", the show where we get mothers from all walks of life, who has seemingly been driven crazy by the antics of her children. The one who is completely and totally off her rocker when an all expense paid trip to a resort. Would you like to participate?"

Um.......does HELL YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD sound too desperate? An all expense paid trip to a resort? Sign me up! With 3 kids, I am BOUND to win, right? I mean, two 9 year olds and a (almost) 4 year old....yea, I got this in the bag!

So I load up and equip myself with stories, tidbits of my life, videos, pictures......everything I think is needed to win this sucker, 'cause I want that trip!! I board the plane, bound for the shining city of Los Angeles. This is gonna be fun! As I arrive at the studio, I get all dolled up and ready for the camera. I give the producer the things that I've brought with me. I am prepared to win this. Walking out on the stage, I feel confident.

I share stories about my son and his inability to walk through the store without acting like he's fighting evil doers. About how my oldest daughter will go from being the sweetest child in the world to being Queen Attitude in about 2 seconds flat. About how my youngest will sit by me and ask 20 times in a minute if I'm done with the computer so she can play ABCMouse.com. Seriously, kid, you're (almost) 4! Computer time shouldn't be that important to you! I tell about how the kids will all be in their own room....until I got to the bathroom, then suddenly, every problem in the world needs to be solved RIGHT NOW. I've not taken a crap in peace in 9 years! 

I share pictures:
Steak and Shake parking lot photo shoot
TNA Impact Wrestling
She's not right....
I tell about the fights, the breakdowns, the fact that I hear the screen door slamming repeatedly and me yelling "STOP LETTING THAT DOOR SLAM!" I tell about my freshly mopped kitchen floor and the juice that got spilled. I tell about the mounds of laundry.......

When it's all said and done, I'm laying behind my podium in fetal position, reliving everything.

"And the mother that is most off her rocker is............. SARAH!!!"

I'm still in fetal position. They stand me up and tell me it's okay. They give me a snug robe to wear...it's so snug I can't move my arms and, it's weird, because it secures in the back. Oh well. I feel a little poke in my arm....I guess there is a little splinter or something, but I suddenly feel really relaxed. They load me up in the van to shuttle me off to the resort.  They place me in an extremely comfortable room. I love the decor. There's padding on the walls, it's all white. It's windowless, except for the tiny one in the door. But that sliver of light leaves as they shut the little sliding door thing on it. They must value privacy around here. I spend the majority of my 72 hour stay sleeping, something I value. The resort's activities director has some odd activities planned....group activities and one on one activities. Lots of talking..it's kind of boring.......
But hey, it's free...who am I to judge? It just cost me my sanity! All in all, I say I rocked this game.

Hey, do me a solid and check out these other awesome blogs? See what prompt they got and how the rocked it.


Baking In A Tornado                              
Just A Little Nutty                           
Follow Me Home                    
Moore Organized Mayhem        
Stacey Sews and Schools           
The Sadder But Wise Girl                           
Menopausal Mother                               
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                                 
The Insomniac's Dream                         
 Searching For Sanity                 
 Evil Joy Speaks                        

20 comments:

  1. I think I would take the win for 72 hours of sleep. Go Girl! Us moms unite. We should all have a Swap Support Weekend .... at a resort.... with mai tais I love this - and your kids are super cute!!!

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    1. Thanks! They are quite precious....even if they drive me madder than a hatter.

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  2. OMGOSH!! ROFLMBO!! This is GREAT!!!
    I think I might give you a run for your money on that show. And I would soooo take that resort vacation. Quiet. Nice and quiet. ;)
    You did an awesome job with that prompt!!!

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    1. Thank you! I considered righting about The Price is Right, but this...it was just so much better!

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  3. see now this is a show I would so watch! 72 hours of sleep is the BEST prize ever!

    Dino loves to walk through all stores...anywhere in fact, talking to his invisible monsters and fighting dinosaurs and robots.

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  4. 72 hour rest period. Can i get a whoo too? A free robe too. Some girls have all the luck. Hey, if you need a tag team member for the next round, give me a ring. I'll smuggle the coffee :)

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    1. Sounds like a deal to me! I'll smuggle in the Thin Mint creamer!

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  5. Hurray... you win!!!
    I've often said that going on Survivor looked like an excellent vacation after wrangling a rather large heard of children all day, every day.
    Sounds like we should meet for a little vacation there next year. Adjoining padded rooms anyone?
    I love that you win and the family pics.
    It's a crazy life but you write it oh so well.
    Loved it! <3

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    1. Thank you! Yes, we should TOTALLY meet for a vacation.

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  6. I well remember that "I will do ANYTHING for sleep" phase of my life.
    Loved this - so funny, well-written, and...believable!

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  7. Sitting here giggling through where you went with this prompt. I laughed all the way through. And although the vacation spot at the end was a surprise, I have to admit that it really would be a vacation!

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    1. Thank ya! My mama was here when I wrote this and I read it to her. She laughed and laughed....so I knew I hit gold then!

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  8. Sign me up for the straight jacket vacation please! :)

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  9. This was brilliant. I'm well on my way to winning that game myself, you'll have to give me some tips on how to sway the judges in my favour.

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  10. Oh goodness, I don't think I know what game show I'd be on...

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  11. OMG this is HILARIOUS!!! You rocked your prompt, lady!

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  12. Hahaha! This was so great, I loved it! Especially how retelling your stories left you in the fetal position; I feel ya woman.

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  13. HILARIOUS! Here I was, reading it, and rooting for you to win and then . . . You M. Night Shyamalan'd my ass with that twist at the end.

    Loved it.

    -The Insomniacs Dream

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So....what did you think? And are you THAT Sarah Michelle?