Monday, November 25, 2013

Scream and Be Free

"If you’re always living for tomorrow you’re gonna miss right now
If we’re only looking in the mirror we’ll never see ourselves"

Those are the lyrics to a song that is running through my head right now. It's by Hanson and it's called "Scream and Be Free".

Last month, I told you guys about the Hanson concert I went to. I was able to get my picture taken with two of the three guys and, to be honest with you, I hated both pictures, because of how fat my face was and how huge I looked. If you frequent this page, then you'll know that I am not a fan of my body. I'm often really hard on myself. I don't mean to be, but I am.

A couple of friends recently posted on Facebook that I need to start seeing myself as other people see me. This isn't something I can do. Because, in my mind, other people see me as I see myself. Huge. Fat. Overweight. Ginormous.In my mind, people see this hideously ugly woman, because THAT'S how I see myself. I project my feelings about myself on to other people.

This is something I'm going to work on over the holidays. I'm going to start trying to find the positive in me. After the holidays, I'm going to start (again) trying to workout and lose weight. But I'm doing it on my own terms. I have to. I know what works for me and I have to do that. Otherwise, I am setting myself up for failure. I know I'm going to have to ease in to it, but I HAVE TO DO THIS. And I need you guys to hold me accountable....

Here's to me trying this AGAIN.......and hopefully, I won't fail this time.

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So....what did you think? And are you THAT Sarah Michelle?