Monday, January 6, 2014

The Boy and The Bully

As much as I tried to avoid it, one of my kids got a taste of bullying and it broke my heart.

Boy Child


There is this little boy that goes to school with Boy and Girl child and, for whatever reason, this little boy decided that he didn't like Boy Child. I'm still not sure WHY he didn't like him, but he felt the need to bully him nonetheless. 

I didn't think it was really happening to the point of Boy Child being bothered by it, but he started to have an attitude here at home. Every time we'd say something to him, he'd cop a little 'tude or he would lash out at his sisters...whatever. So we asked him what was going on and he told us that this kid was basically making his life a living hell.

Boy Child has a Facebook page because he likes to play the games on it. This kid was on his friends' list and had sent him a message stating that he was going to team up with another friend and hit my son. That didn't fly with mama here, so I had a conversation with this kid, trying to get to the root of the issue. He thought I was Boy Child and was just laying it all out there. I finally told The Kid that I was the mom and he told me that Boy Child was giving as much as he was getting. So I gave The Kid our number and had him call me. I pulled Boy Child into the living room and I had them hash it out right then and there.

The result?

The two are now friends, best friends according to them. Boy Child rang in the new year with The Kid and the kid has been here twice, spending the night one of the times. They talk frequently on the phone and The Kid seems to be a really sweet kid.

I was bullied growing up and I remember how much it hurt. But I also remembered that several of my bullies had their own personal hell they were dealing with. So I kept this in mind while dealing with this situation. I told Boy Child that The Kid probably just needed a good, true friend and that was why he was lashing out. It turns out, I was right. The Kid comes from a broken home, he's the only boy in a family of 5 children and he is the middle child.

I'm happy that I handled this situation the way I did, even happier that a new and hopefully lasting friendship was forged. I hope that things don't change when they go back to school today, but I guess time will tell. I was able to teach my kids a very important and valuable less.....

Bullies sometimes just need friends.


2 comments:

  1. I always love to see a growing situation diffused in a positive way. I hope your lesson stays with this kid and he has learned a different way to behave.

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  2. Aww.. glad the little guys are friends. I remember being bullied all through school until about 10th or 11th grade. It is torment. I even had to go to a therapist because I couldn't handle the torture at school and my parents' criticism got to be too much. I had no "safe haven" to turn to. And the Therapist's suggestion was that the bullies just "liked" me and that's why they tormented me. It was not fun. I used to have to find new routes to walk from class to class in middle school. I used to hold my breath, praying the school bus bully wouldn't be at the bus stop that day. No amount of talking to them, questioning them, trying to be their friends ever seemed to work in the case of mine. They just decided not to like me, for whatever reason, many of them being that I was just "weird". It wasn't fun at all. Warms my heart so much to see that your boy and his bully worked it out and became friends :) Thats the best outcome anyone could wish for! A true inspiration for bullied kids everywhere!

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