Wednesday, July 9, 2014

The Challenge of Multiples

Boy and Girl Child are fraternal twins. They were born, via c-section, at 33 weeks. Boy Child is 30 seconds older than Girl Child. They were due September 8, I had them July 24. They were breech position, facing each other, fists up. They came out fighting. 

Boy and Girl Child and Lil Bit

Ask any mother of multiples and she will tell you that having multiples brings about certain challenges that most parents don't have to face. You have decisions to make that most parents don't and let's not even discuss the wish for a few extra sets of arms.

Some of the things parents of multiples have to deal with are:

*Same eating schedules. Basically, when you have multiples, you learn the art of bottle propping. Now, I know there are people out there that are absolutely against this, but those people don't realize that you can't feed two or more babies at the same time without some sort of help. I use to prop Boy and Girl Child up with pillows, then feed them. It worked and I did a little dance when they started holding their own bottles.

*NOT the same sleeping schedule. Imagine this: It's the middle of the night. Baby wakes up, you change him, then feed him and get him back to sleep. Then YOU go back to sleep, right? Not if you have multiples. As soon as you get baby to sleep, you have another that you need to change and feed. What most people do in 30 minutes or so, you are up half the night doing. And people wondered why I walked around with an IV of coffee.

*Birthday parties can be a bummer. This is especially true if you have boy/girl multiples, like I do. It's not that bad when they are younger, but as they grow up and gain their own friends and individuality, they start not wanting joint birthdays or they want their own theme or what have you. It's not fun, the constant arguing about how to celebrate and it become costly.

*School is really fun. A lot of parents of multiples have the challenge of not wanting their kiddos separated, but the school has a policy and......take if from me, I've been there. When Boy and Girl Child went to preschool, they were in the same class. Their teacher suggested, at the end of the year, that I separate them from then on out because Girl Child was mothering Boy Child and it was holding them both back. Every set of multiples has that dominate one. If you don't separate them, the dominant one will try to take over the care of the more laid back one and both can suffer from it. I recommend separating them immediately and letting them become their own people.

*The questions. In my case, Girl Child is about 2 inches or so taller than Boy Child and outweighs him by 20 pounds. She looks older than him (even though he is actually older). I get a lot of comments like "Well, you sure didn't wait long, did you?" or, when I give their birthday I get "There's no way they can share a birthday!!" When they were babies, people asked if they were twins. Obviously...........
The world has a fascination with multiples and this prompts so many questions that you get sick of answering them. They are almost like side show people....people literally fall over themselves to get a question in. It's ridiculous.

I could go on and on about how being a mom of multiples is different. There are 5 years between Boy and Girl Child and Lil Bit, so I kind of have experience on both fronts. Either way, I have awesome kids and I wouldn't change a whole lot about them.......

Well, maybe I'd have some wittier comebacks to the questions........

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