Monday, February 2, 2015

Tales of the Food-aholic

Hi, my name is Sarah and I'm a food-aholic.

I went to the doctor last week and, amid the tears and mental breakdown, I confessed to her my dark secret.

When I get home from work, I tend to binge eat. Like, I'll come home and pretty much eat until I'm sick, then I'll cook dinner and eat until I'm sick again. I was making excuses for this behavior by saying that I didn't eat much at work, which is true. But that doesn't mean I should have come home and eaten like I did.

I am the biggest I've ever been in my life. I won't tell you how much I weigh, because that is super embarrassing. But to be the weight that I am right now...it's painful. It literally hurts to do even the simplest of things. It hurts to sweep and mop. It hurts to bend over to tie my shoes. It hurts to just stand sometimes.

So, I cried and I poured all of this out to my doc, who, by the way, is absolutely amazing. She took a deep breath and basically said "Okay.....this is a multifaceted problem with many levels needing to be fixed. So let's fix them." She then went on to explain to me how studies have been done and now liken food addiction to opiate addiction; meaning the brain of a food addict is creating its own opium-like drug.

I don't drink that often. I've never done drugs and I don't abuse prescription narcotics. I don't smoke cigarettes either. But, I'm a food addict. Of course I'd become addicted to something that we actually NEED to live. Typical Sarah.

The fix? Well, in addition to my Zoloft and thyroid medication, I'm also taking Wellbutrin and Topamax. These are used to treat several things, food addiction being one of them. I'm also considering looking into seeing a therapist. I have a lot of issues I need to work through and I think it may be time. In addition to all of that, I've also found a church to attend with my family. We went yesterday for the first time and absolutely fell in love.

I'm not going to track my weight loss on here or anything like that, because this is going to be a battle that I will be fighting all of my life. But I will keep you guys up to date on the progress.

Here's to getting healthy. And admitting I have a problem.

5 comments:

  1. You've got this! Please know I'm always here for you!!!

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  2. You are on the right track to overcoming your issues. You admitted your problem and are seeking help. It's a lot harder to do than most people realize. Good for you and I'm wishing you the best ❤

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  3. Congratulations on seeing the doc and taking first steps, one of them is writing it "out in the open".
    I think the past year has been very stressful for you, and just look at the inhumane hours you have to get up to go to work! No excuses, just observations!
    So glad you got your support system with your family and (blogging) friends, now you even found a church you like!
    You are one h*** of a lady, and you can do this!

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  4. Oh Twinnie. It's scary how familiar your story is. I'm on very similar similar meds. (Almost exactly the same ones.) You are in a time where your kids are young and you're finding your forever home; it's all stressful. You need to find some time to put you first. I'm proud of you for doing it all!
    Though I SUCK at blogging, I'm here for you if you ever want to talk.

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So....what did you think? And are you THAT Sarah Michelle?