I've talked, previously, about my religious views and how they range from not being a Christian, to being a moderate believer, to wanting more in my life and fearing that change. It's something that I've struggled with, struggled to understand, to comprehend, to come to terms with. It took some time, some soul searching, but I finally realized that I just needed to find a place that I was comfortable with. I wanted a church that taught fundamentals that I agree with, which is, first and foremost, a loving God.
I found it.
We've been attending an AWESOME church for about a month now. After three visits, we made the decision to become members. We've only missed one service (thanks a lot, stomach bug). We have an amazing church family, our pastor is truly awesome, the environment and feel of the church is so welcoming, you can feel the love within.
We are blessed.
But there was still one thing I struggled with, one little thing that, as The Hubs put it, I was rebelling against. That was accepting the title of Christian. I played it off like I didn't want to label my beliefs or anything like that, but the truth of it is that I was still holding on to a lot of hurt from what I felt at the hand of "Christians" and I didn't want to associate myself with that.
It took a group study and a much needed message this past Sunday to make me realize that being a Christian is as personal as your relationship with Jesus.
You see, in the area I live, there are a lot of people that use their religion, their belief in God as a platform to hate other people. Because of this, I started associating the word Christian with hatred and judgment. After the lesson I received Sunday, I realize that this isn't the case, that people like me could call ourselves Christians and mean it, LIVE it. Having said that, I have a confession to make.
I am a Christian.
Words I never thought I'd say, but words I love to say......