That's how I feel, because I lied to get out of what I know would be another disaster of a meal. Getting together with my family is always nothing but drama. With the alcoholic sister, narcissistic brother and parents that think the sun rises and falls on the youngest sibling, a brother who does nothing with his life but mooch off our parents, why would I WANT to go? Go and hear yet another conversation about my failed marriage, about how I've not given them a grandchild, about how wonderful my ex was and how I badly I messed that up.
Yea, I think I'll pass.
I'd rather enjoy my Thanksgiving in the place where people don't judge me. They are just grateful to have someplace to go. Every year, for the past five years, I get together with my church and we host a Thanksgiving dinner for those in our community that would otherwise miss out. It's something I truly enjoy doing. I get to meet so many wonderful men and woman, families with such interesting stories, people who have served in our military. It's an honor and privilege to me, whether they realize it or not.
My family doesn't understand. They just look at me and see the one who messed up. They don't understand how much I love my job at the non-profit company I work for. They don't get how much I love getting out there in the community, meeting people and doing what I can to know their lives are just a little bit better. It's okay, though. I live my life for me, not them. I love my life, husband-less and childless. So what if my husband of 2 years cheated on me with his resident advisor and got her pregnant? So what if they rubbed it in my face, knowing that my womb would never hold a child. So what if they got married the SAME DAY my divorce was final? I'm totally okay with that.
I've made peace with my life, I decide, as I talk with those around me at this Thanksgiving meal, sharing in the turkey and gravy and just enjoying my time. I keep in my line of vision the man in my life, that, if I have my way about it, my family will never meet. This man has changed my life, brought me to this place and showed me something new and amazing. I smile at him, knowing his is mine, and go on talking with those at my table.
Hmm....that guilt has passed.
Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.
The word I got were "Grateful ~ Thanksgiving ~ Turkey ~ Disaster ~ Guilty" and they were submitted by Southern Belle Charm. Thanks!
Now do me a favor and see what my friends have in store for you!